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Chapter 6
“Talking About Ricky”
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He hadn't expected Ricky to come back up again. He had decided to not talk about him for the rest of the day, but she had brought him back up. With a sigh, he replied, "He's really taken himself off the radar this time."
"I'll help."
Kissing the top of her head, he replied, "Thank you. I'm about to actually have to work at it. I've now exhausted the contacts I've had on him. No one has seen him."
She was surprised that he hadn't flat out refused her like he normally did when it concerned his family. "Think someone has him under their thumb?"
With a sigh, he admitted, "I don't know. What worries me is that he hasn't even called mom. Avoiding me is one thing, but he always calls mom at least once a month." He felt some of the tension release from his body. He could forget sometimes how good it felt to let her in and let her know what was bothering him.
She stroked his cheek. "Have you checked all his haunts?"
Bobby shook his head. He reminded her, "He moves around too much to have haunts. He just has a few people he actually keeps in touch with, bookies and junkies mostly. And he avoids the city like the plague. He hasn't actually seen me or mom in...ten years."
Alex closed her eyes. She had contact with her family in some way at least once a day and they never let more than a week go by without physical contact of some kind. "I don't know how you do it, Bobby."
With another sigh, he went back to playing with her hair and replied, "I do it because I have to. I can't change him. I can't make him get help or come back here. I can't undo the damage of our childhood." Meeting her eyes again, he insisted, "I swear to you, I won't be like my father, Alex. I can't."
"I know." She said as stroked his cheek. Glancing at the clock, Alex closed her eyes again. "I should really give Meg a call."
With a nod, he agreed, "Yeah."
Alex leaned up and kissed him. "I'll call Meg. You get that damn profile down."
Bobby nodded. Getting up, he put his clothes back on and went to the computer. Relieved, he got to work at getting the profile pulled down.
After getting off the phone with Meg, she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek. "About that girl..."
With a frown, he was deleting more of the responses he had gotten for his profile. He was hoping they'd be the last of them. Stopping, he looked up at her and defensively insisted, "I didn't pay her for anything, Alex."
She giggled then. She rolled her eyes as she pulled the chair out a little and sat in his lap. "I know...I was mad. You know how I get when I'm mad.”
Wrapping his arms around her, he smiled faintly. Relieved that this wasn't going to be an issue, and he wasn't going to have to prove it to her, he nodded and agreed, "Yes, I do know." He then looked back at the computer and added, "And because I was only a member for...two days, we didn't lose any money there either. They give you a trial period of about a week."
She nibbled his ear, "Aren't you lucky...." She then rested her head on his shoulder. "Do we have to go to work now?"
Bobby sighed and replied, "I'm surprised Deakins hasn't called blowing a gasket wondering where I went." With a sigh, he explained, "When you left, I went to 1PP hoping you went there. I told Deakins you were still sick. He's not expecting you, and I slipped out about five minutes after getting there. I drove by your parent's house, but I didn't see the car, so I went to Meg's."
She began to pout. "Meg’s keeping Morgan for the night and I want you to stay home with me...under the covers. Bobby, it's been awhile since I had you all to myself on a sunny afternoon. I can make it worth your while..."
Bobby smirked. He replied, "I can call him and tell him...something." It was getting harder to think when she was running her hand up the inside of her thigh.
"After..." she whispered before standing and pulling him up to her. She then led him back to the bedroom.
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Alex stretched and reached for him. Finding only air, she grimaced. Opening her eyes, she sat up slowly. "I will not puke." She mumbled. A voice from the doorway made her jump.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you. I...thought you'd want some more crackers. You finished the other box." He walked in slowly, holding out the box for her.
Smiling at him, she took the box. "Sorry. I was just reviving the mantra." Seeing his confused look, she said with a laugh, "I will not puke...ring any bells?"
Bobby smirked. Sitting down beside her, he replied, "Yes, it does."
"Do we have an open case?" She said nibbling on the cracker.
With a shrug, he explained, "The same ones we had yesterday."
"Deakins won’t be too thrilled when we tell him I'm pregnant again." Thinking about what she'd said, she shook her head. "I mean he will be, but that means he has to find someone to put up with you..." She winked at him.
Bobby smiled a little and agreed, "Yeah. He hates doing that. I just hope whoever it is this time isn't as bad as Bishop or Kennedy."
She shuddered when he said Kennedy's name. "I'll work until the day I have this baby as long as they don't bring him back." Remembering how wound Bobby was working with him made her want to scream. "I guess I'd better get dressed."
Bobby smirked. Touching her arm, he assured her, "Try not to worry about that. I'll be fine with whoever they give me, as long as I have you to come home to."
"Just try and get rid of me." She stood and bent down to place a kiss to his lips.
Happy, he returned the kiss. Pulling away, he promised, "I wouldn't dream of it."
"So you already took your shower...guess I need to grab mine." She walked to the closet and pulled out a suit with a skirt and blouse. Seeing his eyebrows go up, she explained, "Court today. Judge Mercer, you know how he is about looking professional."
With a nod, he replied, "I'm going to make breakfast. Do you think you could stomach anything?"
She stepped back up to him and wrapped her free hand around his waist, "I think some toast would be okay...I'm not really that hungry."
Bobby nodded once again and replied, "Toast it is." He was relieved she felt like eating at all, especially the way she ate those crackers.
She was now rummaging through her underwear drawer, looking for a certain pair of panties. She held them up. "See...if you weren't so quick to get up, you'd get to see me put these on." With a wink, she closed the bathroom door and a few seconds later the shower started.
Bobby smiled as he headed for the kitchen. She said she wasn't hungry, but he made a little extra just in case. He was eating when she entered the kitchen.
She took the bite of eggs he offered her and smiled. "You never listen...but thanks."
Bobby smiled again. With a shrug, he replied, "I just don't like the idea of you going hungry."
"I promise I'll eat more later." She picked up the two pieces of toast he’d made her and wrapped them in a napkin. She then took the glass of juice and took a large gulp. Glancing at her watch, she replied, "We are ten minutes from being late."
With a sigh, he nodded. Putting his plate in the sink, he grabbed his things and replied, "Let's go. We don't need to be late today."
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Alex slid behind the wheel of the SUV. She was tired, so tired that she'd almost agreed when Bobby offered to drive. "Today was long and boring. Meg called earlier and left me a voice mail. She and Jake had to go somewhere so they took Morgan to Mom and Dad’s."
Bobby nodded and quickly replied, "OK." He was more relieved than before that he hadn't actually stopped and talked to her parents the day before. The last thing he wanted was more awkwardness.
Driving down the road, she said sarcastically, "Thanks for leaving me some paperwork."
Bobby smiled. He returned the tease, "Anything I can do to help."
"What did Lewis want?" Alex asked as they headed away from One Police Plaza.
Bobby sighed and replied, "To cancel tomorrow night's game. Scott is sick." After a moment, he added, "I'd rather be home anyway for awhile."
"We like having you at home." She stopped at a red light. "Did any of your leads on Ricky pan out?"
With a sigh, Bobby shifted in his seat uncomfortably. He finally answered, "Not so far. I'm hitting brick walls.”
"Is there anything I can do?" She eased off the brake and touched the gas.
Rubbing his face, he admitted, "No. Not really. I don't even have anything to go on right now."
She let the silence fill the car as they made their way across town. Pulling to a stop at the curb in front of her parent's house, she turned to him. "You okay?"
With a nod, he tried to assure her, "I'm fine. I just need to see Morgan."
She smiled and stepped from the SUV. "That we can do." She made her way around the truck to him.
Getting out, he smiled and followed her to the door.
Standing on a step, she was eye level with him. "It's not often I get to see you this way..." She leaned forward and let her lips linger on his. Just as the kiss was broken, the door was flung open.
"MOMMY! DADDY!" Morgan wrapped herself around Alex's waist then Bobby's.
Alex smiled as Bobby picked her up.
Bobby smiled as he hugged his little girl. "Hi, Baby. Did you have fun with Grandpa and Grandma today?"
"Grandpa put me in time out." She crossed her little arms over her chest.
Alex looked from her daughter to her husband to her parents. "Has she been good?"
Her father spoke up. "I told her twice to leave the things on the shelf alone..."
Alex put up her hand and turned to their daughter. "You know better than that, Morgan."
Morgan continued to pout. She insisted, "I wasn't going to hurt anything."
Bobby sighed. Looking up at his father-in-law, he replied, "I'm sorry, John." Looking at Morgan, he explained, "Grandpa asked you to leave it alone, honey. You have to do what Grandpa says."
She pointed at her grandfather and replied, "He made me sit there for four minutes." She looked at her Grandma. "Didn't he, Grammy?"
Alex's mother looked at her and smiled. "Yes, baby, he did. The mean old man."
Alex looked at her mother. "You are no help." She turned to Bobby.
Bobby was trying to keep the smile from forming on his face now. Addressing his in-laws, he replied, "Really, thank you for watching her. We really appreciate it."
Alex turned to her parents. "See you this weekend." She hugged her Mom then her Dad.
He placed his hand on her stomach. "Another one, huh?" he whispered.
She nodded with a smile. She slipped from his arms and took Bobby's hand. "Love you." She called over her shoulder.
Strapping Morgan into her seat, he kissed her forehead. Sliding into the passenger's seat, he asked, "What do you two want for dinner?"
"McDonald's," Morgan piped from the backseat.
Alex smiled at him. "I told you to stop asking her."
Bobby smiled again. He helplessly replied, "Sorry. Are you up for McDonald's?"
She wrinkled her nose at him. "I guess I can do McDonalds."
With a nod, he replied, "If you're sure."
"Please, please, please." Morgan was repeating in the backseat.
Alex turned to look at her, and smiled. "Yes, Morgan. We can go to McDonalds." She turned to Bobby. "You are in so much trouble." She said through her smile.
Bobby’s mouth twitched into a smile. If this food made her sick, he had no doubt she'd make good on her threat. With a nod, he replied, "I know."
Alex pointed the vehicle toward McDonald’s. "We getting it to go or we eating there?"
Morgan yelled from the back, "Playland! I want to eat there."
Bobby tried to intervene, "Morgan, mommy's really tired today. How about we get it to go tonight, and I'll bring you back on Saturday for lunch and so you can play in Playland."
"Whatever." Morgan replied.
Alex looked over at Bobby, then in the rearview mirror. "Where's the attitude coming from, young lady?"
She shrugged and picked up her toy from the seat beside her.
Alex looked glanced at Bobby. "You been letting her watch late night TV with you again?"
Bobby tried to look innocent. "She might get her energy from me, but that attitude is yours."
"Whatever." Alex replied as she turned on her signal light to turn into McDonalds.
Bobby smirked. Risking getting smacked, he replied, "Told you."
She glared at him as she parked the car. "Always got to be right, don't you?"
Bobby looked at her. Seeing the small smile creeping over her face, he smiled, too. He quickly replied, "Only sometimes."
She nudged him with her elbow. "I'm teasing, you big oaf."
With a slight smile, he unbuckled his seat and asked, "Morgan, do you want a hamburger or nuggets?"
"French fries." She said with a big smile. "And ketchup."
Alex touched his arm. "I really was only teasing, Bobby."
Kissing her, he replied, "I know. What would you like?"
"Big Mac and a large fry." She said with a smile. "And you get her nuggets or a burger or she gets no French fries and ketchup."
"You are no fun, Mommy." Morgan giggled from the backseat.
Bobby smiled again. He assured her, "I was going to get something."
When he returned, Alex was in the backseat trying to get Morgan back in her seat. "She figured out how to get it undone and refuses to get back in."
With a sigh, he put the food down. Meeting his daughter's eyes, he spoke to her, "You need to stay buckled up, sweetheart."
She climbed right in and let her mother buckle her then. Looking up at him, exhaustion was written all over her face. "How do you do that?"
With a shrug, he confessed, "I'm not sure." With a slight smile, he picked up the bag and climbed into the passenger's seat, as Alex got into the driver's seat.
"Is it really only six? It feels like midnight." She yawned as she put the SUV in reverse.
With a nod, Bobby looked over at her with a bit of concern. “Yeah, it is."
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Emerging from the bathroom, her clothes were soaked. She called for Bobby.
Walking into the room, he stopped at the sight of her and worriedly asked, "What happened?"
"She wants to play awhile longer and I want to lie down. Can you get her out?" Alex rubbed her eyes as she leaned against the wall. She hated feeling this way. Spending time with Morgan was her favorite part of the day.
With an understanding nod, he replied, "I've got it. Lie down. I'll be in after I put Morgan down."
"I hate this." She mumbled as she headed toward their bedroom.
Bobby closed his eyes. They'd talk about it once Morgan was asleep. Forcing a smile, he walked into the bathroom to finish Morgan's bath.
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Alex peeled off her wet clothes and left them in a pile on the floor. She usually would put them straight in the dirty clothes hamper, but today she just didn't have the energy. She pulled on one of Bobby's t-shirts, one that smelled of him. She let the t-shirt engulf her as she sat on the edge of the bed with a hairbrush.
Running the brush through her hair, she let her mind wander back to when she'd first found out she was pregnant with Morgan. She had energy through the roof, and Bobby was always on her to be careful. Why was this pregnancy different? Why was it taking all she could do to keep her head up tonight? Those were questions for her doctor when she saw him next week. Closing her eyes, she sighed.
Just as she felt she couldn't hold the brush anymore, a soft pair of hands took the brush and started running it through her hair softly. "Hey, there...Morgan in bed already?"
"Yeah. I didn't even finish the story tonight before she fell asleep. How are you feeling, really? You weren't this tired this early when you were pregnant with Morgan or Daniel." Bobby asked with concern, as he continued to brush her hair.
"I don't know. I am going to ask Doctor Slider though. I see him next Thursday at noon." She turned to look at him. "I'm sure it's nothing to worry about." She tried to reassure him.
Bobby nodded, a little relieved. Something was wrong. He knew it, and he was glad she was going to talk to her doctor about it. Meeting her eyes, he replied, "Good. I'll, uh, make sure I can go with you."
Alex smiled and tilted her back so he could kiss her. "Are you coming to bed now or you going to work on the computer for awhile?"
Bobby smiled slightly. Leaning down, he met her lips and replied, "I'll stay. I've worked on it most of the day. This is the first few moments we've had alone all day."
"I have to brush my teeth." She stood slowly and headed for the bathroom. "You gonna get ready for bed?"
With a nod, Bobby replied, "Yeah." He quickly changed into his pajamas.
She poked her head out of the bathroom, toothbrush still in her mouth. "Did you turn on her nightlight?"
With a nod, he assured her, "I remembered."
A few minutes later when she climbed in bed beside him, she kissed him. "I know I sound like a nag. I don't mean to."
Letting her snuggle against him, he reassured her, "It's OK. If I had forgotten, she'd be screaming in about an hour."
"Bobby, have you thought about Ricky...and what if he's..." She bit her lip unable to make herself say the words that she knew he had been afraid to admit himself.
Bobby closed his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he admitted, "I've been trying not to think about it."
She moved her arm to his waist and whispered, "Someone had to bring it up..."
With a silent nod, Bobby stared at the ceiling for a long moment before he finally replied; "He wasn't always like this, Alex. He used to...get between my parents and me sometimes. Dad was always worse on him."
She closed her eyes. This part of his life was always the hardest for her to deal with. She'd had a loving father that would've bent over backwards to give his kids what they needed. She didn't know what it felt like to be neglected and abused. Her head moved up so that she was watching him. Watching him drift away from her and into his memories. Memories that she couldn't erase no matter how hard she tried. No matter how hard she prayed. She touched his face. "Neither of you should have had to deal with that."
Meeting her eyes he nodded. Touching her cheek, he replied, "No, but you have no idea how good you've been for me. I'll never be whole, but I'm a lot closer to it because of you. Ricky never had that, and if something's happened to him...I don't know how to handle that, Alex."
Not knowing what to say, she simply held him.
Bobby kissed the top of her head. Just having her there with him, feeling her against him, was enough to keep him from retreating too far into his memories. For the second time in twenty-four hours, he promised, "I'll never be that way. You know that, right? I could never hurt Morgan or you."
"I'm not scared of you." She reassured him. "And Morgan...You think I don't see it, but she's just like you."
Bobby smiled. He replied, "I see you, too."
“Her constant need to touch everything gets her in trouble almost as much as it gets you in trouble." Her hand slipped under his shirt to stroke his stomach softly.
Bobby laughed. He replied, "And that attitude is all you."
"I do not have an attitude." She said with a straight face.
Trying not to laugh, Bobby replied, "Right."
She propped up on one elbow. "What is that supposed to mean?" She tried hard to be serious, but the smile broke through anyway.
Bobby reached out and touched her cheek. He explained, "It means I wouldn't want you any other way."
"Damn good thing because I'm always going to be this way." She kissed his lips and laid her head back on his chest.
Playing with her hair again, his mind wandered back to a few minutes before. Getting completely serious again, he asked, "I can't ignore the possibility, can I?"
With a sigh, she whispered, "No..."
Staring at the ceiling again, he continued, "And even if he isn't, he's never going to change. He's never going to be the brother I had when we were kids."
"Don't give up on him, Bobby. If you give up, where does that leave him? Whom can he turn to?" Alex closed her mouth then, afraid she'd overstepped.
Bobby closed his eyes and replied, "I know. And I don't want to. I want to help him, but it's been a long time since he's come to me, since I stopped giving him money. I've spent the better part of twenty-five years trying to get him to get help. He could have been so much more. He just won't, and I can't force him."
Biting her lip, she turned away from him. "It wasn't my place to say anything. I shouldn't have..."
Bobby closed his eyes and silently cursed himself for pushing her away one too many times. She thought it was what he was still doing. Placing his hand under her chin, he guided her face up to meet his eyes. He insisted, "It's OK. I'm sorry if I ever make it seem like I don't want your opinion, because I do. I need it. I need you."
"Sometimes I just don't know when to shut up."
Bobby kissed her, hard. He replied, "I never want you to stop. You ground me, Alex. You know I have absolutely no perspective when it comes to my family. You have that perspective, and I need that."
"I don't want to push to hard." Her hands cupped his face. "I couldn't be okay if I knew I pushed you to hard."
Bobby stared into her eyes. Every once in awhile he was still surprised by the depths of the feelings he saw there. He wasn’t sure he would ever believe he deserved her. He promised, "You could never push too hard. You never have, and you never will."
She slid her hands down his chest as she kissed him. "Just always remember that I love you."
Bobby closed his eyes and nodded. He replied, "As long as you remember that I love you, too."
"I’ll never doubt you again." Her head rested again on his chest.
Content, Bobby let himself drift off to sleep. As long as he had her, he could face everything else. He could even face losing his brother.
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