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Chapter 8
“New Beginnings”
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When Alex turned around, Morgan was standing wide-eyed in the doorway. "Oh, Morgan...Baby, I'm..." She knelt in front of her daughter. "Baby..." She held the little girl's face in her hands. "It's okay. Daddy will be back. He and Mommy just had a misunderstanding. It's okay." She held her and the tears she'd been holding back fell down her cheeks.
Worried, Morgan hesitantly asked, "Well, where did he go?"
"I don't know." She said softly. "I don't know."
Pulling away, Morgan wiped at Alex's tears and replied, "You're crying Mommy. Why did Daddy make you cry?"
Alex tried to smile. "He didn't." She took her hand and led her to the table. "Climb on up there. I'll get you that cookie."
Watching her mother, Morgan took the cookie and finally asked, "Then why were you crying?"
Alex looked down her for a long moment. She was just like her father. So in tune with her feelings that it unnerved her. She bent down. "Because I don't like fighting with Daddy. I don't like it at all."
Mimicking Bobby, Morgan tilted her head slightly and asked, "Then why were you fighting?"
"Just eat your cookie." Alex said as she stood and walked from the room.
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Alex gave Morgan her bath. Answering her questions best she could while she worried about if and when Bobby would be home. Reading her a story, Morgan fell asleep and Alex couldn't bring herself to move. She needed to be close to someone. She needed Bobby, but he'd left. Left her alone. Her silent sobs shook her body as she cried herself to sleep cradling their daughter against her.
Walking back into the house, Bobby noted how silent and still it was. Not seeing anyone, he made his way down the hall. Stopping at Morgan's door, he peeked in. Taking a deep breath, he leaned against the door and watched for a moment. He couldn't see their faces well, but he knew they were both there and asleep. Not wanting to wake either of them, Bobby slipped out of the room and down the hall to change.
Feeling him, she opened her eyes just in time to see him head down the hall. Slipping Morgan out from under her arm, she followed him. He had his back to her so she walked softly and laid her hand on his shoulder. "Bobby..." Her voice a mere whisper.
Bobby closed his eyes. He wasn't sure how ready he was for this. Walking to let go of his anger, he realized that he wasn't just mad at Michael. He was mad at himself. He had managed to scare her. He had hurt the one person that meant everything to him. Without turning around or moving, he quietly responded, "I'm sorry."
"I should've told you." She stepped in front of him. "Bobby..." The look in his eyes scared her. What had she done? Reaching up to touch his face, she whispered, "You didn't do anything. I should've told you."
Bobby met her eyes. Almost afraid to touch her, to hurt her, he tried to explain, "I shouldn't have pushed. I never want to hurt you. I don't want to be that way, and I'm not sure I'd be responsible for what I did if he were still alive, Alex. The idea that someone...anyone did...I don't think Ricky would, but the idea that he might..."
"It started as a slap in the heat of an argument. He promised it wouldn't happen again. I trusted him. I gave him another chance. Then came the punch to the gut. He had been cold and distant for months. But he knew where to hit to not leave a mark…that’s when I knew it had to end…we had to be over." Her voice went neutral and she was staring off into space. "I told him that was it. I had his bags packed and ready for him. That night, I got the call... The last words I spoke to him..."
Reaching out, he tentatively stroked her cheek. He replied, "You did what you had to. None of it was your fault. You’re not responsible for what he did."
"I know that.” She sighed and continued, “I never told anyone. Not even my family. Do you know how hard it was to sit there and pretend to be all broken up over a man that I was glad was gone?" She moved to the window and looked out.
He closed his eyes and swallowed. He had no idea how to respond to that. He finally approached her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He whispered, "You won't ever have to do that again."
"Bobby?" She whispered as she leaned back into him.
Kissing the top of her head, he replied, "Hmm?"
"Morgan saw it all."
Bobby jaw clinched slightly. New anger, at himself, began to seep in. Letting her go, he walked to the bed. He put his face in his hands. This was like his worst nightmare. He never wanted a scene like what had happened in the kitchen. In a hushed tone, he asked, "God, how much did she see?"
"I am not sure. You walked out...I was crying. I did the best I could." She stood in front of him.
Looking up at her, he met her eyes. He replied, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have pushed. I shouldn't have left. God, this is my fault."
Kneeling in front of him, she put her hands on his knees. "It isn't. I should've have told you about Michael before we even started dating, Bobby. As my partner, you of all people deserved to know. If anyone is to blame, it's me. I'll make it right." Silently vowing, I have to.
Shaking his head, he insisted, "God, Alex, no. There was no reason for you to tell me till you were ready, till you wanted to. I just...I didn't handle any of this well. You have nothing to apologize for or to make up for. I'm the one who needs to make this up to you."
Eyeing him, she shook her head. "You don't need to make up anything to me. You came back. That's enough for me."
Bobby found her eyes once again. He promised, "I'll always come back. I just...had to think…and calm down."
She leaned up and kissed him, just a little kiss at first. Then needing to reassure him and herself that they were stronger than what life threw at them, she deepened it by placing her hand on the nape of his neck and pulling his tongue into her mouth.
Bobby was beyond grateful to just feel her in his arms, to have her there. After a moment, he pulled away and assured her, "I love you."
"I love you too." She stood and tugged at his hand. "Come on. I saved you some dinner."
Bobby smiled. He obediently followed her to the kitchen and asked, "What, uh, did you end up fixing?"
"Morgan had cookies." Alex admitted. "And milk. I just couldn't deny her...not after..."
Bobby sighed again. Walking into the kitchen, he softly apologized again, "I am sorry, and I shouldn't have left." After a moment, he sat down and explained, "I just...felt like...I had to get out. The look in your eye...that my mother...and the anger at Michael..."
Walking over to him, she let him put his arms around her waist and his head on her stomach. "And again...I shouldn't have pushed you away."
Meeting her eyes, he had a new look on his face, like something had finally completely clicked. He replied, "Next time I push you away, remind me of this."
Smiling down at him, "I will."
Bobby nodded. He finally asked, "If Morgan had Oreos, what did you eat?"
"I didn't eat."
With a sigh, Bobby was a little alarmed. It definitely wasn't good for her to skipping meals while she was pregnant. Biting his tongue to keep from saying something about it, he insisted, "Then I'm cooking. What would you like?"
"Didn't say I didn't cook...just said I didn't eat." She said with a smirk.
Arching his eyebrows, Bobby smiled, too. He ventured, "Alright. What did you cook?"
“Macaroni and Cheese." She said with a shrug. Then a grin spread across her face.
Bobby smiled too. It was the sort of meal they had gotten more used to fixing with Morgan. He replied, "I know I'm home when the meal is macaroni and cheese." Bobby's gears were turning though. Thinking of the list, he asked, "What about your iron? Did you take the vitamins at least?"
"Took them." She made a face. "And I did eat a big lunch...oatmeal and your left over steak."
With a nod, Bobby was relieved. He commented, "Good. You seem better." Looking at the pot behind her on the stove, he deduced that it held the macaroni and cheese. His stomach rumbled a little. With a slight smile, he added, "We should, uh, dig into that cold macaroni."
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She left him in the kitchen to eat while she headed for the bathroom and a shower. Letting the hot water rain down on her skin, it relaxed the rest of the tension she was feeling away.
Finishing a couple more bites of macaroni, Bobby missed her and the reassurance of her presence. Getting up, he headed to their room. Hearing the shower running, he smiled. Stripping, he made sure to put the small box from his jacket pocket away. He stepped into the bathroom quietly. She had her back to the door, and he was fairly sure she didn't even realize he was in there. Stepping into the shower, he kissed the nape of her neck and commented, "I missed you."
"Wondered how long that mac and cheese would sound appealing next to me...naked and wet..." She teased, her hand snaking around his neck to hold his mouth close to her ear.
Bobby smirked. Nipping at her ear, he replied, "I can't think of anything...more appealing than you naked and wet."
Taking one of his hands, she moved it down to touch her. Feeling him caressing her, her knees weakened and she tightened her hold around his neck. Her breathing was shallow as her legs began to shake. "Oh god..."
Bobby continued his ministrations as he gently sucked on her neck. He was basically supporting her weight now, and he loved having that effect on her.
"Bed...take me to bed..." Her eyes were closed and she was so close.
Reluctantly letting go of her, he shut the water off. Taking her hand, he led her to the bed, never breaking eye contact. Getting her onto the bed, he positioned himself on top of her and kissed her hungrily. Her arms went around him, raking down his back.
“Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" Morgan's frightened cries brought them both to their feet. Searching for any item of clothing within reach, she pulled it over her head as she made her way to her daughter.
Seeing her daughter's tear stained face, she sat on the edge of the bed. "What's the matter, baby?" She hugged her. "It's okay. It's okay. Mommy's here."
"Daddy? Where's my Daddy?" She screamed.
Having thrown his clothes that he had left by the bathroom back on, Bobby appeared at the door. Walking further in, he assured her, "I'm right here, Morgan. Everything is fine."
Morgan went from her mother's neck to her father's, crying, "You didn't come back in the dream."
Bobby held his daughter close. Feeling the guilt, he looked at Alex. Rubbing Morgan's back, he promised, "Morgan, it's OK. I did come back, see? I could never stay away. I'll always come back."
Alex wrapped her arms around them both. "Morgan, baby, we had a fight. Doesn't mean we don't love each other." Looking up at Bobby, she said softly, "I think it would be okay if you slept in our bed with us, Morgan. Don't you think so, Daddy?"
With a nod, Bobby instantly agreed, "I do." Meeting Morgan's eyes, he asked, "You want to sleep in the bed with us tonight?"
Morgan eagerly nodded and agreed, "Please."
As Bobby picked Morgan up to carry her into their room, he mouthed a thank you to Alex.
After they'd all settled into the bed together, Alex looked over at Bobby and smiled, silently asking permission to tell her about the baby. Bobby smiled and gave her a quick nod. He was hoping it would ease Morgan's fears.
"Morgan, we have a special surprise for you." Alex began.
"A surprise...for me?" Morgan said looking from one of her parents to the other.
Alex nodded. "You're going to be a big sister. I'm going to have a baby."
Morgan looked at Alex, wide eyed. Excited, she squealed, "I'm going to have a brother or sister?"
Bobby nodded. Kissing her forehead, he replied, "Yes, Baby, you are."
Morgan looked at her father, with curiosity. She asked, "Is that why you got Mommy a present?"
Bobby smiled. With a nod, he agreed, "One of the reasons."
Alex had completely forgotten about his surprise. "And what are the other reasons?"
Smiling, Bobby answered, "Because I love you."
Trying to hide her excitement, she whispered, "Well, when do I get it?"
Bobby smirked and replied, "Now, if you want it."
Morgan chimed in before Alex could, "She wants it, Daddy!"
Alex tickled Morgan's sides. Looking up at Bobby, she smiled. "You know I want it."
Bobby smiled as he slid out of bed and pulled out the box. Heading over, Morgan announced to her mother, "You'll like it, Mommy. It's very pertty."
Bobby smirked as he handed Alex the box and replied, "It's just something...I saw when I was out a few days ago. I, uh, picked it up today."
Taking the box, her fingers shook a little as she opened the lid. Tears streamed down her face as she fingered the tiny pendant with the Topaz and Sapphire stones. "Bobby..." She looked up at him. "This is...put it on me?"
Bobby nodded and replied, "Of course." Smiling, he took the necklace from her and easily worked the clasp and put it on her, but he let his fingers linger for just a few extra seconds, enjoying the touch of her skin.
Her eyes closed and her skin tingled where he touched her. She sighed. "Thank you so much."
Bobby watched as she turned around to face him again. Smiling, he assured her, "Anything for you."
Morgan, excited, piped up, "It's pretty on you, Mommy. See, I told you it would be."
Bobby smiled softly and agreed, "She's right. It's perfect on you."
Rolling her eyes, she blushed. "Stop it."
Morgan giggled then yawned. "That's it, little lady. Time for bed,” Alex said as she pulled the covers up over her and Morgan.
Bobby snuggled down with them. After awhile, Bobby finally drifted off, content.
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He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. She hadn't really been connecting during their love making and he knew it, but his sexual appetite wouldn't allow him to stop. "Carolyn, babe, you okay?"
Taking a deep breath, Carolyn knew it was now or never. Turning on her side to face him, she watched him for a moment before finding the courage to speak. "We...need to talk."
He narrowed his eyes. This couldn't be good. He turned on his side and faced her. "About?"
Meeting his eyes, she wanted to see every bit of his reaction. She ventured, "Us. I want to talk about us."
He placed his hand on her hip and met her eyes. "We're getting along just fine."
Carolyn resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Of course he would think that. She just came out with it. "I want more than sex, Mike. This isn't enough."
He leaned forward and nibbled her collarbone playfully. "But the sex is good." He leaned back and met her eyes again and knew that wasn't the right thing to say. Sitting up, he put up his hand. "Okay. Okay. I'll get serious." He took a deep breath. "It's more than sex, Carolyn...or don't you see that?"
Sitting up, she was relieved to hear that he at least sounded like he wanted it to be more. Shaking her head, she confessed, "No, I don't, Mike. I don't see it. I...can feel that you feel something, but this is all there has really been to..us."
He scratched his head. "Carolyn, I haven't been messing around on you. Is that what you are accusing me of?"
Closing her eyes, she shook her head. She tried to explain, "No. That's not... No. I know there isn't anyone else. I just... I want to go out. I want to go dinner with you, be with you in more than just the bedroom. I want this to mean more and really connect with you, Mike."
Understanding what she meant, he scratched his head. "Why didn't you say that before?" He looked at her and touched her cheek. "I thought this was all you wanted." He smiled. "I guess...I just...I'd like that." He cleared his throat. "I'd like to go out...dinner, movies, dancing...anything you want."
Relieved, Carolyn relaxed. With a small smile, she admitted, "I'm sorry. I...should have. I just...know your reputation, Mike, and I didn't know how you'd react."
He kissed her quickly. "Baby, if you haven't noticed...my reputation went right out the window when I started taking you to bed." He rubbed her cheek with his thumb.
She closed her eyes and enjoyed his touch. She nodded mutely. After a moment, she found her voice, "I know. I didn't want to chase you away. I didn't want you to...hear the word relationship and go running for the hills on me." She opened her eyes and met his eyes. She knew it was terrible. It was small minded and rude. It was insulting, but she couldn't help it. She had heard way too many stories. It was why she had held off for as long as she did. It was why she turned him down the first half a dozen nights he tried to take her home with him.
He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "This what kept you from enjoying yourself...during..." He met her eyes.
Carolyn sighed and admitted, "I knew I had to do it tonight, and I was nervous."
He shook his head. "Next time, just talk to me. I don't bite...much." He tweaked her nose.
Carolyn laughed. Leaning forward, she kissed him this time. She replied, "I'll try to remember that next time."
He laid back against the pillows. "You hungry?"
Carolyn shook her head no. Still sitting up, she answered, "No, I...ate before I came like I always do." She hesitated a moment before continuing, "But if you're hungry...I can go with you."
He sighed. "I can find something in the fridge..." He met her eyes. "We could...go get a drink...or something?"
Carolyn smiled again. She nodded. "I'd...like that."
He pulled her down to him and kissed her lips hard. Letting her back up, he said softly, "Get dressed."
Carolyn was grinning as she got ready and asked, "Did you have a specific place in mind?"
"Pete's?" he asked as he stood to pull up his jeans.
Smoothing down her shirt, Carolyn turned to face him. "Pete's is good. It's close."
"Damn shame Bobby and Alex don't live closer. We could play a game of pool." Mike was tying his laces.
Carolyn nodded. Slipping into her shoes, she agreed, "It is. Where do you and Bobby usually go when you go shoot pool?"
"Corner Billiards, you know down on 21st." Mike stood and stretched. "I like playing Bobby, but Alex hustles me every time."
Carolyn laughed. "Doesn't surprise me. She enjoys getting people to underestimate her."
He pulled a t-shirt over his head and walked around to where she stood fastening her bra. He kissed her shoulder. "Let me." Snapping it, he kissed her shoulder again and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her back into him. "Wear the red shirt...makes you look sexy."
He pulled his shirt over his head and turned to face her. She was wearing the red top he loved to see her in. Narrowing his eyes, he shook his head. "Nope. Change it. We go out like that, and I'll be fighting the boys off with a stick."
Carolyn rolled her eyes. Walking over to him, she put her arms around his neck and assured him, "And I won't be noticing any of them. I'll just be paying attention to you."
He smiled as he dipped her backwards and kissed her neck. "Good answer."
Carolyn laughed. Pulling away, she took his hand. "Come on. Let's get you some food and then get going."
He held tight to her hand as they made their way into his kitchen. "Your place is always better stocked than mine." He rummaged through the fridge. Grimacing, he righted himself. "I think I'll just stop somewhere for a burger."
Carolyn shook her head. With a laugh, she commented, "No wonder you didn't eat before. One of these days I'm going to drag you to a grocery store and make you get some food for this place."
"That'll be the day..." he said under his breath.
Carolyn smirked. Grabbing his arm, she teased, "We'll see."
He pulled her out the front door. "Why didn't we just go to your place tonight anyway?" He wrapped his arm around her waist. He was already fighting with himself about how much of himself he was willing to give her. His heart was telling him that he was long gone and his head said that he still had a long way to go.
With a huge smile, Carolyn was letting herself hope and believe they might be going somewhere. "If that's where you want to go, Mike."
He placed a kiss to the side of her head and whispered, "Your bed is softer than mine."
With a nod, she agreed, "Much softer." She smirked at him.
He cocked his head. "What's with the smirk?"
She laughed. Waving it off, she assured him, "Nothing. Just thinking about the last time we were in my bed." The last week or so she had been spending more time at his place than hers.
"Your neighbors banged on the wall and told us to keep it down," he said with a grin that spread ear to ear. "I still don't know what go into you that night. The lace...the cuffs..." He cleared his throat and shook the mental image from his head.
Carolyn blushed slightly again. Shaking her head, she admitted, "I think it was the cuffs."
He punched the elevator button and smirked at her. "Yeah. The cuffs..." He quietly added, "It was the lace for me."
Carolyn suppressed a laugh. "We'll have to play with both again sometime."
When the doors opened, he asked, "Promise?"
Carolyn kissed him again. "Promise." She stepped into the elevator with him.
When Mike returned from the bathroom, a guy was on his stool talking to Carolyn. He politely tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, buddy. That's my stool and my girl."
Suppressing a
laugh, Carolyn also couldn't help but smile in pleasure at the idea that Mike
was being protective. She put her hand on Mike's arm. "Mike, calm down. He was
just saying hi." Backing off, Richard replied, "Yeah. I didn't mean anything by
it." He wandered away. Just looking at him with amusement, she replied, "I like
this possessive side of you."
He narrowed his eyes at her. "You sure were laughing at his jokes."
Meeting his eyes, she reached out and touched his tightened jaw. She lowered her voice. "Mike, I wouldn't have forced the conversation tonight if I was thinking about anyone else but you. I want to be with you. I don't care about him."
He met her eyes and his expression softened. "Yeah...guess your right." He laid his hand on her knee. Squeezing her knee gently, he whispered, "I just...thanks."
Leaning forward, he gave her a quick kiss. "Come on. Have another beer."
"Are you trying to get me drunk, Detective?" He said as he waved his empty bottle at the bartender.
Carolyn snickered. "You've had two in the past hour that we've been here. A third one is hardly going to qualify you as drunk."
"It was only a suggestion..." He teased as his hand went further up her leg.
Carolyn felt it. Taking another sip of her martini, she looked down at his hand and playfully warned. "You keep doing that and I'm going to do something we're both going to regret in a bar."
He kept moving it up. "Oh yeah? What's that?"
Carolyn put her drink down. Closing her eyes, she forced her breathing to stay even. "You don't want me to jump you in the middle of a bar, Mike." Her eyes sparkling with laughter as she met his eyes. She wasn't sure if he could tell if she was serious or not, and that amused her greatly.
Mike let his hand linger on her inner thigh before sighing and letting it fall from her. "True..." He met her eyes. He opened his mouth to say something but a song that someone played on the jukebox got his attention. He stood. "Dance?"
With a nod, she smiled. Putting her hand in his, she let him lead her to the dance floor. Putting her arms around his neck, she moved closer to him. Meeting his eyes, she whispered, "This is nice, Mike."
"I should've done this months ago," he murmured against her ear. "Then you wouldn't have had to doubt us."
Playing with the hair at the base of his neck, she assured him, "It's OK. I didn't say anything either. I should have."
He held her tighter and danced her around in a slow circle. "Did I mention before how good you smell?"
Carolyn grinned. Resting her head on his shoulder, she replied, "Yes, you have. Have I told you how good you smell? Because you...always smell amazing."
"Soap and aftershave." He smirked as he pressed kisses along her jaw line.
Carolyn closed her eyes. Completely relaxed against him, she whispered, "Well, it works for you."
"Let's get out of here...go to your place..." He pressed a kiss to her ear.
With a nod, Carolyn pulled away. With a smile, she let him lead her out of the bar. Getting back to her place, she headed towards her bedroom. "Go ahead and find something in the fridge, if you want. I'm going to change."
He followed her and flopped across her bed. "I'd rather watch you change."
Carolyn smirked. With her back to him, she pulled out some pajamas. She enjoyed how domestic they could be. It was nice. Turning to face him, she put the negligee on the bed. "Can you reach over and turn the alarm on. Deakins will kill us if we're late." Giving him his show, she pulled her top off and then her pants. Reaching behind her, she unhooked her bra and pulled it off. Sliding the negligee over her head, she smiled at him.
He turned on the alarm without taking his eyes off of her. "Lace," he commented softly. He reached out and fingered the satin and lace. "And red...is definitely your color."
Carolyn grinned. Getting on the bed, she moved closer to him. Leaning down, she kissed him. It's...almost one, Mike. We need to sleep."
He mock pouted. "You mean I don't get to..." He smiled at her. Standing up, he stripped down to his boxers. He slid under the covers and patted his chest. "Come here, baby."
Getting under the covers with him, she snuggled up against him. With a contented sigh, she relaxed. Something about this seemed so right to her. "Thank you for tonight, Mike."
He kissed her head. "What are you plans for Saturday night?"
With a shrug, she admitted, "I don't really have any."
"You do now. Be ready at six thirty on the dot. I'm gonna take you on a night you'll never forget." He ran his hands down her back and up under the silk. He slowly stroked the base of her spine.
A small shiver went up Carolyn's spine. She assured him, "I'm looking forward to it then." She was beaming now. She was truly happy.
"Night, baby." He settled his cheek on the top of her head and closed his eyes.
Carolyn smiled and nestled into his arms further. Closing her eyes, she easily went to sleep. She always slept well with him there.
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